Tonight has been a roller coaster ride of emotions. I had just gotten back from Orlando and had been awaiting the arrival of a letter from the South Carolina Governors School for Art and Humanities for about 2 months and it had finally come. I got in the car, my mom handed me the envelope, mind was racing, heart pounding, palms sweaty. Let’s just say I was a hot mess. I tore open the envelope only caring what the letter inside said. My eyes scanned across the paper in a hurried manner and my heart dropped as I realized I had been rejected. I was crying. I was angry. I was disappointed in myself. And even though I hate to admit it I doubted whether God even cared. I was hurt. I was hurt that I wasn’t good enough in the eyes of board of the people who accepted students in. I was ready to burn all my journals. My hair was sticking to my face from the tears. I had a snot running down my face. (Beautiful right?). My breathing was choppy and I couldn’t seem to stop questioning, Why? Why did I get rejected? Why am I not good enough? Why didn’t I get in? What could I have done better? Why did God let this happen? What’s wrong we me? Why was it that everyone else I knew got in but I didn’t?
I cried and cried and I was angry for a while. But then I realized (with the help from some of my parents and friends) that I’m a great writer and there’s nothing that I could’ve done to change the past or the minds of the people at the Governors School. God has a plan for me and it is far greater than anything I could Imagine. I was trying to mark out my own path for my life instead of listening to what God plan was for my life.
“But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.“That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”
2 Corinthians 12:9-10 NIV
It’s hard dealing with rejection especially when it seems as though everyone around you is succeeding and thriving. But know that you’re not the only who feels that we, though that’s the way it may seem. I had to realize that I was not the only who received that letter today. The world isn’t over, life goes on. Let rejection motivate you to succeed. Know that there is a father in heaven who will always be there to comfort you in your times of hell. And finally know and understand that God has a plan far greater than you mind can understand. In the end this has been a tremendous learning experience and has brought me closer to the Lord, so for that I’m grateful.
“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort,” 2 Corinthians 1:3 NIV
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
Jeremiah 29:11 NIV
P.S. CONGRATS TO EVERYONE I KNOW THAT GOT IN!!